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Waste not, want not

By Angie Bornemann
Posted: November 17, 2008

Pardon me for not being patriotic, but if the crew of the International Space Station needs another bathroom before the holidays, they can just call up Home Depot or Lowe’s and get in line with the rest of us.

And by the way, what part of recession doesn’t NASA understand?

Seems the space shuttle Endeavour brought not just a new john, but a kitchenette and exercise room as well to the space station on Nov. 16.

Sure, these amenities will increase the resale value of the station - Space Station, end-of group, great view, kitchenette and two baths - but is this what we want to spend the nation’s money on right now while some earthlings suddenly don’t have the proverbial pot to do you know what in?

All this so the station can accommodate up to six crew members.

There are three crew members up there now and, I presume, one toilet. To expand the crew to six, another toilet is needed.

I didn’t take calculus, so bear with me: That means there will be one toilet for every three crew members.

Earth to space crew: Have any of you ever needed to use the bathroom at a professional football game, a rock concert or at intermission during the Christmas show at Radio City Music Hall?

If you can’t hold it, you shouldn’t have gone up there.

I grew up in a two-parent, six-child family. Oh, we had two bathrooms, but one was waaaaaaay down in the basement, and it wasn’t heated. Believe me, there are worse things than getting your tongue stuck to a flagpole in winter.

OK, I overlook the fact that one of the newest crew members is a woman.

But what ever happened to women’s lib? This nation never promised her a rose garden, either on earth or in outer space.

And remember: One more bathroom is just one more bathroom that somebody has to clean. And who wants that in their job description?


Comment on this entryView 1 response

user stevetowson says...

Please tell me this is a joke.

It is... right?

;-)


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Angie Bornemann

Angie Bornemann

Angie Bornemann is the editor of the Towson Times. A former English teacher who is married and mother to two teenage boys, she has worked for 20 years for Patuxent Publishing Co., where she began as an education reporter.

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